Time to Purge

It's garbage day here. Sadly one of my favorite days of the week because I get to get rid of all of the stuff cluttering my house & taking up space with no purpose anymore. I'm in purge mode! So if you're looking for some pillows, pots & pans, maybe an extra cat.... just let me know. Seriously though, let's talk about purging.

Wherever you are, whatever crappy or awesome situation you're in, congratulations! Your choices, your decisions & your actions (or inaction) has gotten you to where you are. Some of you may not be happy with what I just said but it's the truth. I am aware that life throws us some curve balls & things happen beyond our control but for the most part, we are the ones that have full responsibility for where we are. Whether it was your procrastination or action, acceptance or motivation, or similar things, we own it. If your first reaction was to be mad about that, it's ok. Take some time and think about it again when you finish reading.

Most of us have to hit bottom before we choose to change. I was in an abusive marriage that led me down this path. I'm not saying I deserved it and I certainly didn't ask for it but I was there because of my choices. I saw the red flags & chose to ignore them. I could've walked away a lot sooner but I didn't. My choices led me to that situation long before it became so painful & I own that. I was terrified to leave with two young kids (mine, not his), a part-time job & not much more than the clothes we took with us. He even had my car put in his name. I'm not saying it's easy. It took me time to get things together but I started acting on it as soon as I realized I needed to go.

We create & live our own narratives. I could've stayed & continued to live as the victim but I couldn't stand what he was doing to my kids. The one thing he said to someone when I left has stuck with me as fuel to my fire. He told them, "She'll be fine. She's a survivor." Bullshit! I thrived! We often wait until we are so uncomfortable in a space that we have no choice but to make change. I should've left before he dislocated my shoulder. I should never have gone back after that but I did and it only got worse. I was afraid to leave because my fear of what I could fail at was bigger. Really?

I've owned my responsibility in creating that & many other negative situations in my life. It's not easy to look in the mirror & see where we caused our own pain. Don't get me wrong! This was definitely not all my fault! The funny thing is that in the end, I was always able & if I had only known how amazing things would be now, I would've left long before that. We create our own realities. We own our beliefs, stories, & all of things we tell ourselves. So stop buying the negative crap your brain is telling you because it's afraid. You can & will do whatever you need to if your "why" is strong enough. Take a few minutes & imagine in detail what the life you're dreaming of looks like. Write it down. How do these things make you feel?

Stop telling yourself that you're staying with your abusive, cheating, toxic spouse for the kids. Seriously? Is that the story you're going with? What are you doing for them? How will they learn what a good relationship look like? Have you ever been with parents that do nothing but fight? How is staying for them? Stop telling yourself that you can't afford to go back to school, that you can't ask for a raise or get another job. You're scared, not incapable if you want it! Stop saying you don't have time to workout & that no one else will eat it if you make a healthy meal. Who are you doing it for? Do it for you! Do it for your kids & show them what healthy meals & activity look like. Do it with your spouse or your mom or a friend that need it too & you'll be their inspiration. Just stop with the damn excuses. It's no one's fault but your own if you continue to procrastinate. It's really just another excuse not to do it at all.

Don't wait until you have the perfect time, the perfect plan or until you're ready. You're going to miss an opportunity you may never get again and even if you do, you probably still won't be ready. Do it anyway. Life is full of struggles & crap we don't like but that's where we grow the most. Be thankful for the lessons & move on but don't make excuses to avoid failure. I'm grateful for what I went through. I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't & as lame as it sounds, I'm so much stronger for it. How is it going to feel when you succeed? Do it now, do it scared but do it! What can you choose to purge today that will take you a step closer to succeeding at the life you dream of? You've proven you can survive hard times in the past. Let the negative narrative go and own all of the strength & possibility you already know you have!